This concept has become more relevant to me over the past year. This is because it’s something I find myself struggling with daily.
Author Nikki Walker regularly discusses this notion in a group she facilitates. Over the past few months, I’ve been meaning to introduce the topic of friendships for my fellow-authors. I’ve noticed over the past two years, since picking up my laptop and truly writing, that I’ve become more and more reclusive. A woman who has historically thrived off interacting with people, getting people to open up emotionally and hang loose. A woman who had a particular interest in challenging people to look within themselves for solutions to happiness. A woman who enjoyed being in your face, pulling on you to open up. Yup, that is/was Love. I’ve always prided myself on establishing and facilitating nurturing relationships.
See, I’m the type of woman who has never surrounded herself with shallow, competitive “girlfriends.” I’m not the type to gravitate to guarded people like a Rayna Brimm. I’ve tried several times in my youth to do this and had been burnt each time. So, I decide years ago that I could never be friends with Beyonce Knowles. LOL! Seriously, I’m such a free-spirited and confident person emotionally that if I sense you’re not reciprocating, I walk away. I’ve conditioned myself to do just that over the years. It was and still is difficult, but I’ve learned to protect my heart.
So, getting back to my girlfriends and work/life balance; I’ve disappointed a number of them over the past two years. Not only do I have a full personal life as it relates to home, but I now have this writing thing that I’ve tried my hand at and find myself at home with and totally engrossed in. Unfortunately, to get into the most productive zone, I have to withdraw into my head where I meet these really cool people aka characters. In doing this, my “nurturing” gene transfers from my girlfriends to these characters. So not cool! I totally get this.
When completing “Love Redeemed” I felt pressure like none before from both my writing world as well as my home life and my girlfriends. Since releasing “Love UnCharted” in October of 2013, I began to receive an increasing amount of emails, tweets, inboxes and posts about the release date of this “Love Redeemed.” Great, right? Of course! I’d started developing a following! My dream is coming true! However, the demand came with an obligation to produce. My management team eventually began to demand the conclusion, too, as they occasionally voyaged my pages on FB, Twitter, and IG and discovered those inquiries. Thank goodness they don’t have access to my personal email!
So, I did what I needed to do and completed the task. I tried to manage as best as I could to get the job done. Then I got the job done. And yet and still feel I’ve come up short. Several of my relationships with my girlfriends are hanging on delicate strings and now that #Redeemed is done I’m taking inventory of my relationships and don’t really know how to go about repairing or assuaging them. And I don’t really have much time as I’m starting to complete L.I.T. ummmmm…this weekend. Yikes!
***shrugs shoulders*** I’ve been praying about this and will continue to do so, because I am really big on friendships. They’re so vital to a woman’s being. It doesn’t matter if you’re single or married. Doesn’t matter if you have just one or fifteen like me (yes, I have at least 15 women that I consider confidants and engage in nurturing relationships with. I’m crazy, I know…but that’s who I am. It’s what I’ve found myself in and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world…unless these relationships produce catty drama, to which they’d get terminated.) friendships with women who are supportive, encouraging, mentor-worthy, positive, spiritually grounded, confident, loving, trusting and who provided reciprocity is hugely key in a successful woman’s life. Just don’t collect as many as me.
Anywho… work/life balance: how will Love achieve it?
***drumming fingers on my desk as I ponder a solution***